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2020 Millenium Awards

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Winners each receive a tube of haemorrhoid cream and a wire brush applicator. Prize recipients must come to where I live at their own expense to collect their prizes, which will be awarded (including the haemorrhoid cream application) at public ceremonies in a busy commercial district at lunchtime. I will arrange press and television coverage.

Award winners are invited to mention the award on their sites and to display the award graphics.

First Place – The Anus Maximus Award
Anus Maximus Award  2019

Pete Evans

It was almost a lay down misère for the Anus Maximus Award this year. Nobody has tried harder than "Celebrity Chef" Pete Evans to do more things wrong and and had so much success at self-delusion and self-destruction. But he still has fans and people who believe the nonsense that he spouts and buy the things he sells.

Going from an $800,000/year job doing nothing much in a TV "reality" show to having his Facebook account closed, travelling via a prosecution for selling a useless medical problem, through having all his commercial contracts cancelled (publishing, food distribution, part in a television show, ...) and winning an unprecedented second Bent Spoon Award would give any normal man food for thought. But not Paleo Pete. He might even believe the "health" advice he gives and the products and services he sells, and unfortunately he will probably be around for some time yet. There are pyramid schemes to promote, vaccines to be lied about and countless other opportunities for someone experienced in making himself the news and countless people too gullible to see through the smoke and mirrors.

Quote of the Year

Milo Yiannopoulos

This late entry into the race (made in December after Christmas) eclipsed the usual racists and anti-vaccination liars. Milo used to be famous for his idiotic utterances about how men should treat women but has recently been suffering from Irrelevance Syndrome. He has burst back with this post to the Parler social media platform. Parler is where the people not welcome at places like Facebook and Twitter go, and is an echo chamber for filth.

A woman does not become a nurse because she wishes to give. She becomes one because she wishes to control. Nursing degrees are one of the easiest to acquire, yet bestow vast authority – and unearned privilege – on the graduate. Most importantly they bestow power over men without the hassle of pregnancy or child-rearing. It is a profession for barren, vicious control freaks, and Lucifer rejoices in every new nurse he creates.

Highly Commended
Highly Commended  2019

It should be noted that "Highly Commended" does not mean "Highly Recommended". Quite the opposite, in fact.

Innate Life Chiropractic

This site was originally nominated for an Encouragement Award but as I studied Linguistics at university and have the final say over who gets what award, the judges finally agreed that the reinterpretation (reinventing?) of etymology when combined with the absurdity of chiropractic's mythical and magical "subluxation" deserved recognition beyond just encouragement. Extrapolation from nonsense to support nonsense needs rewarding.

DeMoss Chiropractic
(Another chiroquactor. It's in their genes.)

Another chiropractor who doesn't need encouragement. Mr Billy DeMoss (he likes to be called "Dr" but he isn't one so I don't) has almost single-handedly set new levels of batshit craziness. One of the reasons that his site is Highly Commended is that he provides a reference point for anyone who wants to see the limits of what the chiropractic "profession" will accept as suitable behaviour for a representative of the industry. To his credit, Mr DeMoss doesn't try to hide his mental condition and can be easily triggered to produce a deluge of mouth foam by use of words like "vaccine".

The best part is that Mr DeMoss is actually a good representative of chiropractic, because he makes clear what the business is all about – anti vaccines, anti "germ theory", anti real medicine, anti science, anti common sense.

Make Australia Healthy Again

Sometimes someone comes along who is so unhinged that, like Humpty Dumpty, it would be impossible to put him back together. Solihin Millin is just such a person. It is difficult to do justice to his state of mind, except to say that he probably doesn't believe in "the State" (unless it's the "Deep State" that really rules the world) and using the word "mind" in the same sentence (day?, month? year?) as his name is probably committing an oxymoron. Sol obviously possesses something like a mind, but I predict that after his death there will be much competition to study his brain from neurosurgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists and philosophers, all trying to work out how it worked, how it was different to a human brain and how epistemology might have to be modified to accommodate delusions as facts.

Encouragement Awards
Encouragement Award  2019

I was sorely tempted to award an unprecedented third Encouragement Award to the Australian Vaccination-[untruths] Network for the way they perceived that they were being harassed by social media networks, but they waited until 2021 had started before running away to join the Nazis and other filth at sites which make swimming in a cesspit feel like an afternoon at the beach.

Joint award to Andrew Wakefield and Del Bigtree

It was a slightly discouraging year in 2020 for prominent anti-vaccination liars ex-Dr Andrew Wakefield and yellow-star-wearing Del Bigtree.

The year saw the publication of a book about the ex-doctor, setting out in some detail his path from obscurity to very well paid professional liar and Del had his channel of lying videos DELeted by YouTube.

This award is to encourage both of them (they worked together to create the vile Vaxxed movie) to go away, disappear and never come back to endanger people with their insane opposition to vaccination.


Pentagon Space Aliens

This site bounced to the top of the memory stack when it went all secure and HTTPS at the end of 2020. Anybody glued to the site design principles from the Geocities era possibly doesn't need any encouragement to do anything (because they wouldn't listen), but it has an actual flying flying saucer. And blinking dots!

Exploding synapse counter

Tom Heneghan and Stewart Webb

Anyone who feels the need to block my IP address from looking at their site (even if it took 14 years for them to notice) needs all the encouragement they can get. Paranoia like that doesn't come along every day and should be reinforced at every opportunity. Also, who wouldn't want to encourage someone who still uses blinking text from prehistoric times?

Conspiracy believers – all of them

2020 saw a flowering of conspiracies like almost no other time in history. Around my part of the world we started out with massive bushfires that had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the hoax of climate change (the best actual conspiracy suggested was that they were deliberately set by the government to clear a path through national parks for the construction of a high-speed railway line between Sydney and Melbourne). Almost as soon as the fires were out a disease pandemic broke out across the surface of the flat Earth, but it wasn't really a disease at all because it didn't exist. Simultaneously to the coronavirus not existing it was being spread by the rollout of 5G mobile telephone technology. This was somehow related to the "too fast, too soon" vaccines being developed to administer nanochips (designed and financed by Bill Gates) in order to control the world's population through compulsory vaccination. To end the year, Donald Trump failed to get reelected as President of the US and the rest of the world stopped laughing at conspiracy ideas as the US became embroiled in an outbreak of madness.

This award is to encourage the Flat Earthers (flerfers), the anti 5G campaigners and other holders of amusing and relatively harmless delusions to raise their games and take back the news streams from the actual lunatics. And if you are worried about Bill Gates tracking your movements through nanochips you should maybe be more worried about Apple and Google tracking where your phone goes (Bill had to invent the nanochips because Microsoft don't make Windows phones any more). You can always do what I did when I found out that my new phone had more Gs than the old one.

The 2020 Awards received a nice mention and summary in the March 2021 edition of The Skeptic,
the journal of Australian Skeptics Inc.
The Skeptic




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