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Highly Commended 2006Comment and Opinion

The Scientific Proof of God

This site was Highly Commended in the 2006 Millenium Awards. The citation read:

George Hammond has discovered a Scientific Proof of God (SPOG). This is not a Scientific Theory of God (STOG) or even a Scientific Hypothesis of God (SHOG). It is a Proof!! What more needs to be said?


Proof that God exists ... (4/5/2002)
A George Hammond preparing to discuss his workman named George Hammond has published what he claims is a "Scientific Proof of God". He has done the usual mad scientist things like submit a paper for publication and have it rejected and write to Stephen Hawking and get no answer, thereby proving that the establishment is against him and Professor Hawking is probably not smart enough to understand it. If this was all Mr Hammond did he would be of no interest to The Millenium Project (although he has made an appearance in Quintessence of the Loon). Why he gets a mention here is because of the way he reacts to any comments or criticism. The average mad scientist is impervious to criticism as he (almost invariably a "he") knows he is right and does not bother with lesser minds. Mr Hammond, on the other hand, launches into a vituperative and scatological ad hominem attack on anyone who dares to suggest that there might be even the slightest flaw in his "proof" (he rates it higher than just a "theory"). As an example, when I commented on his remarkable observation that horses have four legs and cars have four wheels, his immediate response was to call me a moron. Mr Hammond reminds me of the "alternative medicine" supporters and anti-vaccination liars who have so little faith in what they say that they either run and hide or resort to abuse when challenged. If you have an afternoon to waste, you can see some of Mr Hammond's work in the Google newsgroup archive.


Hilarious Hammond Harassment (22/6/2002)
The lid has been firmly screwed down on the regular performers, allowing George Hammond, who has scientifically proved the existence of God and is smarter than almost anyone else in the universe, to post the following rousing commendation of me to various Usenet newsgroups:

You're not only a snot nosed asinine and boring writer, you've got an ugly smelling contempt and ignorance for the higher levels of scientific ability. It's scum like you who need to be cleaned out of Science and put back in uniform where you belong. It's time that the academic community stopped mollycoddling loudmouthed yuppie scumbags like you. You're a disgrace to your family name.


Harassment Update (20/7/2002)
No real harassment again this week, but I did get a sort of death threat. I have previously mentioned George Hammond who claims to be the smartest man alive and who has scientifically proved the existence of God. Mr Hammond is somewhat impatient with we lesser intellects who have difficulty understanding his proof. During the week he published an email he had received which he interpreted as a threat from someone named Mike Varney. I pointed out that the email was, in fact, about Mike Varney, not from him, and that Mr Hammond had committed the major Internet sin of publishing someone's address and telephone number. Mr Hammond was not pleased with my comments and had this to say:

No asshole.... I'll TELL YOU what the f--- is going on. Retrograde loudmouth criminal vandals and morons like you have been harassing a serious, competent and dedicated scientist on the Internet for 3 years now... and WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN because of your reckless, criminal, indefensible behavior is that somebody is going to get accidentally hurt just like when you start playing Chicken with a freight train, you stupid basteds. Someone is going to get hurt, and it ISN'T going to be me because I'm the freight train. It's going to be one of you. In this case it may be Mike Varney Keep up your criminal, vandalistic, loudmouthed, wiseass harassment and abuse of a serious and dedicated scientist trying to present a serious scientific discovery and sooner or later one of you will accidentally get himself killed, you "fuckin moron".


Quintessence Corner (6/11/2004)
While I was feeling nostalgic I decided to revisit an old Loon of the Month winner, George Hammond, who has discovered a Scientific Proof Of God (yes, he does say SPOG). Note that this is not SHOG, a Scientific Proof Of God!Scientific Hypothesis Of God, or STOG, a Scientific Theory Of God, but an actual Proof. George tells us that he is one of the smartest people on the planet, and reinforces that by suggesting that people should not read his Proof until they have the prerequisite knowledge, a smattering of which can be obtained from reading some introductory pages on his web site. A couple of years ago George lit up Usenet science newsgroups like an enormous comet, debating all challengers with a combination of wit and erudition not seen since the departure of Earl Gordon Curley. Then, suddenly, he disappeared, taking his web site with him. Fears were expressed that he may have done some harm to himself, but optimists hoped that he had retired to something like the Oort Cloud or the Kuiper Belt to await the time for his return. There have now been early sightings and he has a new web site, which you can see here. [When Geocities ceased to exist in late 2009, this site went with it. If it finds a new home the link will be restored.] Be warned, though, that if you want to debate George you will need your wits about you. Here are just two examples of how George answered questions from me using wit and repartee which would make Oscar Wilde and Grouch Marx gasp in awe:

You're not only a snot nosed asinine and boring writer, you've got an ugly smelling contempt and ignorance for the higher levels of scientific ability. It's scum like you who need to be cleaned out of Science and put back in uniform where you belong. It's time that the academic community stopped mollycoddling loudmouthed yuppie scumbags like you. You're a disgrace to your family name.

and

No asshole.... I'll TELL YOU what the f--- is going on. Retrograde loudmouth criminal vandals and morons like you have been harassing a serious, competent and dedicated scientist on the Internet for 3 years now... and WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN because of your reckless, criminal, indefensible behavior is that somebody is going to get accidentally hurt just like when you start playing Chicken with a freight train, you stupid basteds. Someone is going to get hurt, and it ISN'T going to be me because I'm the freight train. It's going to be one of you. In this case it may be Mike Varney Keep up your criminal, vandalistic, loudmouthed, wiseass harassment and abuse of a serious and dedicated scientist trying to present a serious scientific discovery and sooner or later one of you will accidentally get himself killed, you "fuckin moron".


Kook resurgence (11/6/2011)
Among the delights of the Internet is the collection of kooks who inhabit it. One of the older parts of the 'net is Usenet, a collection of thousands of discussion forums. Although its major function now seems to be the distribution of pornography and "stolen" music and videos, there is still a small subset of it which is useful for discerning and honest people like me. Usenet used to be the native environment of kooks, which is why much kookology refers to it. (See "What is a kook?", for example.) There is even a discussion group, alt.usenet.kooks, devoted to examining and commenting on extreme examples of kookiness.

Some kooks become legends. A few weeks ago I mentioned David Mabus, famous for incoherent death threats against just about everybody. Other legends are Ed Conrad, who claims that humans have been around for 300 million years because he has found fossils in coal seams, Todd Gastaldo, a chiropractor who handed in his licence because chiropractors aren't ethical (you might think this is laudatory, but his objection was that they wouldn't join his obsession to stop women lying down while giving birth), Graham Cooper (who calls himself |-|erc and claims to be in direct communication with God when he isn't having his life broadcast like The Truman Show). One of my favourites, however, is George Hammond, who has discovered a Scientific Proof of God. George is apparently the smartest person alive (Stephen Hawking could not understand George's work), but he reacts badly to criticism, even when none is implied. Here is a recent exchange between me and George.

Welcome back, George. With the recent reappearance of Todd Gastaldo in misc.health.alternative and now you in sci.skeptic and the occasional craziness from Ed Conrad and David Mabus, Usenet is returning to its kook-filled days of yore.

And George's reply:

Look, Bowditch, don't even think about starting with me. Don't think for a minute we don't know you're a right wing prick masqurading as a do-gooder by chasing cranks and frauds on the Internet. Problem is that in your case this is obviously a cover up and a smoke screen for you're real agenda, which is to attack and suppress serious productive and dedicated scientists like me who among other things are capable of exposiing aggravated right wing phoneys like you who are mainly interested in suppressing scientific discoveries that might otherwise empower the oppressed and embondaged who you are interested in exploiting under the cover of being a do-gooder. Naturally supressing the world's first scientific proof of God would be at the top of your hit list. Go chase some more cranks golden boy and forget about me, I happen to be the real McCoy. And if you don't think so Mr Do Gooder, just try me!

Sharp sticks are such useful implements, aren't they?


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