Home > History > Front page updates March 2003
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| Oh, hang the hag high, laddies, hang the hag high Way aye hang the hag high Oh, hang the hag high, laddies, neck her real good Give me some time to hang the hag high! A young girl is checking for lumps in her breast Although it just doesn't feel like it should, Fast forward a few months, her funeral's today "Neuroblastoma" is so hard to spell But as soon as the credit and money runs out If Grandpa has Alzheimer's all is not lost If you'd all like to join in a party today |
Missed Opportunity (15/3/2003)
Don't you just hate it when someone tells you about some desirable object that's for sale, but when you go to the shop the last one has been sold? The sign below was listed on eBay but I found out too late to get one.

Mea culpa, mea tinybit culpa (22/3/2003)
Last week I mentioned how I was disappointed that a museum was supporting woowoo. I went along to the "Celestial Celebrations and Autumn Equinox" with some friends, and generally it was as bad as we expected it to be. I still have the opinion that it is not the sort of thing that a museum should be promoting. There were numerologists telling us about how car number plates revealed secrets and astrologers telling us how planets revealed secrets and tarot readers telling us how cards revealed secrets. There were plants and birds and rocks and things, there was sand and hills and rings ... No, wait! That was the song on the car radio when we arrived. (Why do we of the baby boomer generation keep having these flashbacks?)
I said "generally" above because it wasn't all bad. One day I am going to buy a magic wizard's cloak (although when I tried one on people remarked that the hood didn't cover enough of my face). There were also stalls selling interesting ornaments and objects which probably horrify excessively religious people but which I wouldn't mind having on a shelf at my place. I owe a sort of an apology to the Pagan Awareness Network, because when we met them they turned out to be practitioners of a religion that is no sillier than any other and a lot better than some. They certainly aren't the Satan worshippers that their enemies make them out to be. Their ceremony was interesting and made more sense than many traditional religious services I have endured. I don't think I will join up, but I would like to see a Pagan ceremony with everyone in the full robes and regalia. I was also slightly disappointed because I was sure I had heard someone say that they were going to sacrifice a goat, but I was mistaken.
Speaking of Pagans and Tarot ... (22/3/2003)
One amazing fact we discovered was that divination is still illegal in many parts of Australia. This means that astrologers, palmists, tarot readers and so on face prosecution for predicting the future. These laws are old and it is apparently almost impossible to get arrested for breaking them, but the potential is always there for some over-zealous police officer to do a bit of persecution. It seems that whenever any move is made to repeal these old, useless laws the traditional churches start lobbying, presumably because they don't want any competition for their own brands of superstition. We have had freedom from religion in Australia since our Constitution was enacted, and it is absurd that any religious group can try to limit what other people believe and practice. I don't really have to reiterate my views about these silly practices, but the idea that they should put people at even the tiniest risk of criminal charges is ridiculous.
Yurko desperation update (22/3/2003)
A continuing ploy in the campaign to free murderer Alan Yurko is an attack on the medical examiner who conducted the autopsy on the dead baby. For a while, the killer's supporters have been claiming that the autopsy was carried out on the wrong dead child. Now they have found something new, and, to quote, "Compelling new developments surrounding the Yurko Project are coming to light. The Medical Examiner in the Yurko case who contaminated the autopsy of Baby Alan with data and tissue from another has done so, according to an internal investigation, hundreds of times before". When you actually read what happened, you find that in 1994 and 1995 the Medical Examiner's Office was extremely careless, and evidence related to several court cases was either contaminated or the chain of evidence was broken. You will notice that the quote above talks about "hundreds of times before", but when you actually read what happened you find that only 26 cases were affected. (It is possible that convictions in those cases could be overturned on appeal now that the evidence problems have been revealed.) So 26 becomes "hundreds"? And where did I read that it was only 26? Why, on the Free Yurko web site, of course! They must think that the people who look at the site can't read. And another thing - Yurko did his killing in 1997, long after the evidence storage problems were fixed. In 1994 and 1995 he was in prison in Ohio, serving a sentence for four counts of aggravated burglary.
When politicians go mad (22/3/2003)
There must be a special additive in the water in the buildings which house parliaments, congresses, councils and other legislative bodies. This chemical causes politicians to behave irrationally. Normally the populace just rolls its collective eyes as the elected ones stuff pork barrels, start wars, run up deficits (referred to as "good economic management") and dally with the staff, but sometimes they do things which surprise even the most blasé observer. Two such cases have come to my attention recently.
The New Mexico Legislature is considering a bill put up by Rep Daniel Foley which would designate an annual Extraterrestrial Culture Day to recognise the contributions of space aliens to the culture and economy of Roswell. I have a close personal connection with the equinox following the Roswell Incident, so all I can say is that it is about time that the cultural interchange between us and our alien cousins was given the attention it deserves. Now, if Rep Foley can just get the government to open up the secret vaults ...
Meanwhile, in England schools have been told not to sell or give away hot cross buns. Apparently, the use of such comestibles might offend certain persons to whom Easter is not a significant occasion. It will be permissible to have a substitute, provided that it is some sort of flat bread like a pancake with no cross on it. As is often the case in such examples of political correctness, the potential offendees have not been asked to contribute. I am rarely in full agreement with the head man at the Muslim Council of Britain, but I think he got it exactly right when he described this decree as "bizarre". He also pointed out that Muslims are perfectly capable of saying what offends them, and it isn't spicy fruit buns.
Heeeeee's back!! (22/3/2003)
Some skeptics tell me that my moon-phase lunacy predictor is based on the false premise that the moon has an effect on people's minds (or where their minds used to be, in some cases). They might laugh, but how can they explain that the full moon last week coincided with the retumescence of Mr William P O'Neill of the Canadian Cancer Research Group? If that is not enough evidence, Mr O'Neill appeared in two guises - as himself and as "Annie McNaughton", with both personas cackling the same sort of nonsense. Even further evidence is that cardboard and new crayons were handed out at the GAL Asylum for the Terminally Clueless, and the Gutless Anonymous Liar said rude things about my wife. One of these days Mr O'Neill will realise that I am not going away and that his ridiculous stories about my bankruptcies and criminal records are not believed by anyone. His first ever email to me insulted my wife, yet he has not learnt that this tactic is useless as well. To while away his time, he could enter the number 15724799 into a calculator and then convert it to hexadecimal notation.
Don't mention the war (29/3/2003)
I am quite happy to follow Basil Fawlty's advice, so instead of talking about the war I am going to talk about protesting against the war. The right of peaceful assembly to express dissatisfaction with the actions of the government is a cornerstone of democracy, and it is just this sort of right that the current action is supposed to be going to deliver to the Iraqis. (It is just a happy coincidence that certain rights will also be restored to companies like Haliburton, Bechtel, ...) The key word, however, is "peaceful" and there seems to be a tendency these days for protests to be anything but peaceful. As an example, one of my clients owns a hotel which was used recently for a meeting of World Trade Organisation delegates and during the time of the conference the place was surrounded by concrete barriers and police. Other guests and functions were cancelled or sent elsewhere. They were reacting to credible threats against the property, but smashing up a hotel is hardly going to effect the course of globalisation of trade.
Part of the problem seems to be that there is a group of people who, for a variety of reasons, attach themselves to protest actions when they have no real interest in the stated purpose of the action. Some seem to just be there because it gives them an opportunity for anonymous vandalism and destruction. Whatever their motivations, there is something quite ridiculous about the idea of a violent demonstration for peace. (In case you think this is new, or that I am just an old fogey whining about the natural exuberance of youth, there is probably still a file about me stored in some spycatcher's dusty archive detailing my part in the organisation of protests against the war in Vietnam. I broke with the Moratorium movement because they were prepared to tolerate people whose sole objectives seemed to be to attack returning troops and to rampage through cities breaking things. My fight was with the politicians, not with soldiers or shopkeepers. Many of the soldiers were conscripts and were just doing what they had to do to avoid quite harsh consequences. I know this because I was both a conscript and a soldier.)
Violence at peace protests is stupidity, because it distracts from the real purpose (the media concentrate on the violence, not the message), it alienates observers from the purpose of the event, and it makes it more difficult to get permission and police cooperation for future events. There was a particularly blatant case of stupidity at a recent anti-war demonstration in Sydney. This had been organised primarily for schoolchildren (who have every right to want to live in a world without war, however naive that wish might be), but it was almost immediately disrupted by louts (described in PC-speak in the media as being "of middle-eastern appearance") who threw chairs from an outdoor restaurant and other objects at the police. After trashing the restaurant they turned their attention to the nearby St Andrew's Anglican Cathedral, where they smashed stained-glass windows and desecrated the altar. You might wonder why it was deemed necessary to attack a Christian church, when the churches have always been supportive towards the peace movement. Remember how I mentioned stupidity? Well, these clowns attacked the cathedral because they thought it was a synagogue! Morons.
Fruitcake with extra nuts (29/3/2003)
I have just watched an abysmal television show called Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon?. The usual suspects were rounded up (Bill Kaysing, Bart Sibrel, David Percy) and the usual drivel which has been rebuttted ad nauseum was trotted out. There was the fluttering flag (wave a cloth around in a vacuum and it flutters, stop waving it and it keeps fluttering for a while because there is no air to damp the inertia), the missing stars (it is impossible to set a camera exposure for a picture of a white space suit in full sunlight and still be able to record stars in the background), the light infill in shadows (sunlight reflected from the Moon's surface can light up the ground 350,000 kilometres away on Earth, but these kooks say it can't work at one metre), and ... but why go on? There was at least one piece of deliberate deception in the show, when victims of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan in 1945 were shown as if this was what would happen to anyone passing through the Van Allen belt. There was also the obligatory mention of the film Capricorn One, apparently on the basis that if someone could make a fictional film in 1978 about something that never happened (a manned trip to Mars that was actually simulated on Earth) then it was probably based on something that really happened in 1969. I suppose that the Moon hoax kooks think that Lord of the Rings is a documentary.
What really caught my attention, however, was the claim that the faked Moon landings were filmed at the infamous Area 51.
This must be an extremely busy place. What is fascinating about it is that it is the most secret place in the whole of the USA yet people can freely take pictures of it from nearby hills, and every loon and conspiracist seems to have perfect knowledge of what goes on there. I have been told that even the President does not have a high enough security clearance to see the facts about the place, but these facts are made available to people with loon web sites. It's a strange way to run a country! The big question, though, is why NASA needed to fake the Moon landings. As Area 51 is supposed to contain the technology obtained from crashed and captured alien space ships, and the NASA people obviously had enough security clearance to go in there to make their film, why didn't they just exploit this technology to make a craft that could really go to the Moon? Surely the technology which had been used to transport creatures across light years of space would have no trouble with the million kilometres or so of a trip to and from the Moon. This is the real cover up!
Deploy those smokescreens!! (29/3/2003)
People have commented to me several times that any time some alternative medicine scam outfit gets a court ruling against it, supporters of quackery start defaming people and ranting in order to divert attention. A hint that something was about to happen came last week when Tim Bolen (who used to be the spokesgoon for not-a-medical-doctor Hulda Clark, but seems to have fallen out of favour) issued another of his foam-flecked tirades against the "quackpots" and "quackbusters". Simultaneously, some people who have been associated with Bolen posted newsgroup messages singing the praises of the lawyer who works with Tim, pointing out his many victories on behalf of pseudomedicine. (This lawyer seems to have missed the lecture in law school about defamation - he once publicly called me a "bottom feeding parasite".) One of these victories was apparently Nuremberg 2001, the case against me and about 30 other people and non-people. Web sites were cited which described our perfidy, but no mention was made of the fact that the case was withdrawn. I wonder whether all this had anything to do with the fact that another of the lawyer's clients lost an appeal this week over their fraudulent claims that a product called Growbust could make breasts bigger. The basis of the appeal was that lying in advertising is protected free speech and it is therefore illegal to object to such lies. The judges of the appeals court thought otherwise. You can see the judgment here.
Speaking of lawyers ... (29/3/2003)
I have updated the list of threatened lawsuits arising from the content of the RatbagsDotCom sites. I had forgotten a couple of threats made by people who didn't like their words quoted in Full Canvas Jacket.
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