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The Ratbags Dream

Get all the computer advice you need and build yourself a residual income. Become an Independent Business Consultant by participating in the Ratbags Dream.

Here's how it works.

To take part in this brilliant business opportunity you pay a start-up fee of $500.00 (plus GST). You will then become an Independent Business Consultant (IBC) with the right to sell our product. And what a product it is. Imagine being able to get computing advice for a year for just $10.00 (plus GST). You will be able to offer this to the clients of your Independent Business Consultancy, and you will receive a commission of 10% on each sale.

But it gets even better. Who wants to keep finding customers when you can get someone else to do the finding for you? If you bring someone else into the business, you will receive two forms of commission as soon as they qualify as an IBC by selling their first Annual Support Contract (ASC). The first is that you get 10% of the sale price of the ASC and you also get a commission of $20 for bringing another IBC (complete with at least one customer - this is important) into the scheme.

It might be hard to imagine this, but things can get even better. If a qualified IBC that you have introduced brings in another qualified IBC themselves (complete with the customer they need to qualify as an IBC) you will get commissions of 1% on the ASC and $30 for the new IBC.

And it goes up and gets even better. Here is the Compensation Plan:

Levels (to remain at any level, an IBC needs to have at least one qualified IBC in the next level below them in their leg)

  1. Monster PIN - 0.5% of sales made at Level 1, plus $80 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  2. EBPI (Extremely Big PIN Indeed) - 0.5% of sales made at Level 1, plus $70 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  3. EBP (Extremely Big PIN) - 0.5% of sales made at Level 1, plus $60 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  4. VBP (Very Big PIN) - 0.5% of sales made at Level 1, plus $50 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  5. BP (Big PIN) - 1% of sales made at Level 1, plus $40 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  6. PIN (President In Nascency) - 1% of sales made at Level 1, plus $30 for each new qualified IBC at Level 1.
  7. GFO (Ground Floor Opportunity) - 10% of sales, plus $20 for each new qualified IBC brought in.

IBCs can be at several levels simultaneously, and compensation depends on the distance that the incoming qualified IBC is from you. This means that even at the level of Monster PIN, where your residual income from commissions can be almost unlimited, you can still get those extra dollars you need for the new Lexus or yacht by bringing in more qualified IBCs and getting the highest rate of sales commission.

Your aim should be to acquire a minimum of three GFOs in the first week. Once you have done that it is a simple matter to duplicate the system with them, and as everyone rises with the rising tide you will soon reach VBP and your management and sales team will soon look like this.

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Your success will drive you to higher levels of expectation and achievement, and soon your team will look like this (and remember that every VBP in the bottom row has a team like the one above).

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Here at The Ratbags Dream we take compliance with our rules very seriously. Nobody can receive commission for simply recruiting an IBC into the scheme as a GFO. That GFO must be qualified by having at least one customer for an ASC. We would not want to be accused of being a pyramid scheme, and we can assure you that by insisting that commissions are only paid upon the introduction of IBCs who have customers we are strictly legal. A Full Court of the Federal Court of Australia has ruled that this is the case.

So what are you waiting for? Your sponsoring IBC can arrange for you to go to a presentation about the opportunity next Tuesday night. Don't wait until Super Saturday, because the race is to the swift and only losers don't hear it when opportunity knocks.

Of course, there are some legal and contractual matters that you need to be aware of. The file of what our lawyers jokingly call "small print" is a bit large at 6.3 gigabytes to attach here, but your sponsoring IBC will supply it to you on two very reasonably priced DVDs at the presentation night.

You will also receive (for a nominal fee) a CD containing a rousing rendition of the Ratbags Dream Anthem "We will sock you", sung by the enthusiastic IBCs at our last international conference. If you click on the picture of the Holy Dollar you can hear a snippet. (The word "sock" was used instead of "rock" to avoid intellectual property problems with Brian May and any suggestion that the late Freddie Mercury endorsed The Ratbags Dream in any way, although we are certain that he would have had he lived.) The CD also contains a pictorial tour of our Pacific Rim headquarters, Ratbag Castle, plus pictures and tours of buildings that we intend to be occupying for our international expansion into Europe, the Middle East and Central Asia, South East Asia, and North America.


Europe

North America

South East Asia

Middle East, Central Asia

Please note that the use of these images does not indicate any association with or endorsement of The Ratbags Dream by any or all of the owners, tenants or other occupants of the buildings, their agents, employees, heirs and successors or any other person or spirit resident in or on or under the buildings whether alive, dead, reincarnated, embalmed, cryogenically preserved, hereditary and/or constitutionally monarchical or eligible or otherwise for election for another term.

So what are you waiting for? Only losers have too many questions. Don't ask - do!

Peter Bowditch
Absoeffinlutely Enormous Pin


Applications to become an IBC at GFO level must be submitted on the form which can be found as pages 603 to 714 of the documentation provided (for a nominal, cost-recovery fee) to intending IBCs at the first presentation event. Each application must be accompanied by payment in full of the IBC fee, a copy of the Trade Practices Act 1974 initialled on each page (your sponsoring IBC can arrange for you to purchase a copy of the Act at your introduction session), payment in full of the IBC fee, a certificate showing your Australian Business Number, payment in full of the IBC fee, a statement acknowledging that you are not an employee of Ratbags and have no rights as an employee of Ratbags (not even those few rights which might be left extant by the Workplace Relations Act), payment in full of the IBC fee, a notarised certificate indemnifying Ratbags against any loss, damage or injury which may occur to your person, property, psyche, self-esteem or personal and/or business relationships while pursuing The Ratbags Dream, payment in full of the IBC fee, details of your bank account, payment in full of the IBC fee, five sheets of paper with printed letterhead or your address in the top right corner and your signature in the bottom right corner, payment in full of the IBC fee, a statement to the effect that you understand geometric progression and probability theory, plus payment in full of the IBC fee. This contract may contain traces of nuts and you must acknowledge that any anaphylactic shock arising from exposure is the result of a genetic condition and is the fault of your parents and not Ratbags. Words used in the contract, associated documentation and Ratbags Dream promotional material will generally be interpreted in the light of Alice v H. Dumpty and Anor, but please note that when the words "unlimited", "income" and "opportunity" are used they have not been defined by any court as having meaning within the context of this agreement. The expressions "strictly legal" and "barely legal" have the meaning as used in the pornography industry and as defined in ACCC v Forkingood, where Far, Gough and Dye JJ ruled that any contract so described is on the legal side of the letter of the law by a distance exceeding the literary analogue of the Planck length. The expressions "Ratbags will not guarantee that you make money" and "Ratbags guarantee that you will not make money" differ only in word order and are therefore synonymous; whenever the first expression appears the second can be read in its place. See your doctor if pain persists. No government instrumentality or other authority has examined or approved the Ratbags Dream scheme, nor has the scheme been ruled illegal in any country with enforceable laws against pyramid schemes. Objects may be closer than they appear in the mirror, but dreams may be further away than you think.


This page is parody. People who do not get the joke should be pitied. People who do not get the joke and want to make an issue of it should be and will be ridiculed.


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