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Size must matter to someone

Anyone visible on the Internet seems to get spam messages. This would be a lot less irritating if each message or offer only arrived once. I collected all the offers I received over a month from people offering to make my penis larger. I wonder whether it's like the old joke about the devices to give you better fuel economy - if you fitted them all, would petrol keep spilling out of your filler cap as you drove around? If I tried all of these enlargement methods, would I need to use a wheelbarrow just to get through the day?

As all the messages seemed to say much the same thing, I have only listed the subject lines. I actually received more messages than this, but duplicates have been removed. I thought the most boring title was "PENIS ENLARGEMENT PROGRAM". The one that made me laugh the most was "USE YOUR DICK TO HIT PEOPLE!!!".

Several people have written to me about this page, apparently under the misapprehension that I am selling products to assist the genitally challenged. Some have even offered to send money. In case it is not clear, I am not selling anything here - I am listing messages that scamsters sent to me. I don't know if any of the products offered work, but somehow I doubt that they do. I was told once, though, about a sure-fire method which involved a house brick and a piece of string ... Ouch! Another alternative is the famous Make Penis Fast chain letter.

You can see these messages here.

Here it is in big letters:

I don't know how to make your penis bigger.
Don't keep asking me!

100% All Natural Penis Enlargement!!!
100% guaranteed penis enlargement
ADD 4 INCHES TO YUOR DICK IN DAYS!!!
Add Length to your Penis!
Add REAL Inches To Your Penis! GUARANTEED
All Natural Techniques That WILL Add 2-4 Inches!
Become a SUPERSTUD!
BREAK THROUGH WALLS WITH YOUR COCK!
COCK LIKE A PORNSTAR !!!! GUARANTEED
Do You Want a BIGGER Penis?
ENLARGE YOUR PACAKGE GUARANTEED
ENLARGE YOUR PENIS GUARANTEED
Enlarge your thing guys!!
GET A 12" DICK NOW!!!
GET A 12" PENIS NOW!!!
GET A BIG BLACK SIZED COCK INSTANTLY................
GET THE BIG COCK OF YOUR DREAMS!!!
GET THE BIG DICK YOU DESERVE!!!
HAVE A SMALL DICK? ADD 4 INCHES!!!
HAVE A SMALL DICK? MAKE IT BIGGER!!!
HAVE A SMALL DICK? WE CAN CHANGE THAT!!!
I WANT A BIG COCK..........HOW........... HERE..............
Make that thing bigger!!
MAKE YOUR DICK BIGGER THAN A CLUB!!!
Natural PENIS ENLARGEMENT...FREE INFO !!!
NEED A BIGGER DICK? COME AND GET IT!
NO PILL --PENIS ENLARGEMENT---
No pumps, no pills, natural product
PENIS ENLARGEMENT PROGRAM.
Penis Enlargement/Lengthening Secrets Now Revealed.
PROOF, YOU CAN HAVE A 10" DICK!
Save the RAINFORESTS with your ENORMOUS "FIRE HOSE"
SMALL DICK? ADD 4 INCHES IN DAYS!
SMALL DICK? WE WILL ADD 4 INCHES FOR SURE!
USE YOUR DICK TO HIT PEOPLE!!!
WANT A 12" DICK GUYS? GET IT HERE GUARANTEED!!!
YOU CAN HAVE A 10" DICK!
YOUR COCK AS BIG AS A BAT
YOUR COCK SCARING PEOPLE!
YOUR DICK 12 INCHES LONG!
YOUR DICK BIGGER THAN A CLUB!
YOUR DICK DOWN TO YOUR KNEE!
YOUR MONSTER SIZE COCK!!!
Your WEINER will EXPLODE in SIZE HERE


The Mail

I have received these messages about this page.

Please e-mail me iformation about your product. I'm very interested in this the one problem is i don't have a credit card do you take checks??? Or cash???? Please e-mail me with the information i need to know thank you
I READ YOUR SITE AND HOW DO I GET A BIGER DICK ?
I 'M COMFUSE ABOUT THIS "PENIS ENLARGEMENT PROGRAM". IS THAT TRUE ?? PLEASE I WOULD LIKE GIVE MY COCK MORE INCHES PLEASE HELP ME
how can i make my dick enlargement by natural way
yes i was wondering how ur program works and i would like to noe how to make my diCk bigger in days...so can u please write back a s a p and tell about it... ur friend
how does it work and how much does it cost
YES I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW UR PROGRAM WORKS GET BACK TO ME AT xxxxxx@HOTMAIL.COM
HELLO,
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW DO I GET A 12" COCK GUARANTEED OR MAYBE EVEN BIGGER SO PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AT:xxxxxx@HOTMAIL.COM
I want some info on how to make a dick bigger.
DEAR PROCTOLOGIST,
IM WRITING TO YOU TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IM REALLY INTERESTED ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT AND I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU IF YOU COULD GET BACK TO ME WITH INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT HOW IT WORKS AND HOW MUCH IT COSTS BASICALLY SO PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AT xxxxxx@HOTMAIL.COM. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE THANK YOU.
HELLO I'M MY NAME xxxxxx AND I'M TRYING TO GET MY DICK BIGGER NOW IF YOU CAN HELP ME CAN YOU E MAIL AND TELL ME HOW TO DO IT I NEED IT NOW HIT ME UP AT xxxxxx@YAHOO.COM
I want to make my Penis big. What I have to do for that pls tell me and how much expensses it is. I am from Indian I don't have credit card I can pay by check.
my email address is xxxxxx@yahoo.com and i want information on how to add 2 inches on my dick
I want some info on how to make a dick bigger.
can you give me info on how to add inches to my penis thanx!
Can I make my dick bigger at home
Yo, I want my dick bigger than what it is. Can u help me?
tell me how to make my dick bigger for free
tell me how to make it bigger please
how do i make it bigger at my own house my email address is xxxxxx50@yahoo.com
i have a smalll penissssss, so i'm very saddddd ..... pleaseeeeee help me, tell me how to get a bigger penisssss at my own houseee pleasee help me, i'll wait for uu
I just want to know how to get my dick bigger by eating stuff
Dear Sir,

PLEASE SEND ME INFORMATION HOW CAN I MAKE MY DICK ENLARGEMENT BY NATURAL WAY IN DOUUBLE QUICK TIME AND IM READY TO COVER ANY EXPENSSES WILL COST

AWAITING YR. PROMPT REPLY.

THANKS & REGARDS,

sir my penis is kind of big but i just want it to get thicker thats all cuz i think gurls be liking them boys with the big dicks you a guy you should understand please help
writte back
i have a small dick so i would like to add like 2 or 3 inches to it.that is my only problem with girls, so please help me
i am good with girls and they like me cause i make them laugh and they want me bad and then we go to bed and i only got 6 inches and they leave un pleased i can last really long as long as i want its just i want the girl to leave happy this isnt for me cause i get the girls i want it to be nice for them too and its kinda weird to take off ur shirt and have a nice stomach then u pull down ur pants and mister 8:::D is there and she goes "oh boy another lame night of sex" come on man help me please
i need some help my girl friend is telling everyone that im small and the only thing i could think of was to email u for some help, please email me with some info thanx
how do i make my dick bigger
HELLO, I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW DO I GET A 12" COCK GUARANTEED OR MAYBE EVEN BIGGER SO PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AT:xxxxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk
i just wanted to know how to get my penis enlarged. Its about 6" i want it at least 9". No other programs work so if u could really help me i would appriciate it. All the other programs take months and more than 10 weeks. thats too long. so can u tell me how i could enlarge my penis
hello my name is xxxxx i have a girl friend that likes to have sex but when i fuck her she say may dick is not big how can i make my dick big place tell me in a easy way thank you
Greg i am 15 years old and every weekend i go to my friends house. and he always has friends over his sister has a bunch of friends that come over that are really hot.and theirs this one girl that want to suck my penis but IM scared she will think my penis is to small its any 4 1/2 in long. i know IM only a kid but he said he has a 7 1/2 in penis and i dont know what to do. so IM wondering if theirs any thing i can do about my problem or any thing i can use home made. so if u have any suggestions please im me.
hi as of right now i have a 7 1/2 inch penis and i want to make it bigger how can i do this at home with out the weights and no pills i just want to be bigger and better
hey i am 15 years old and i have a 5 inch penis it very enberesing please help how do i make it 12 inches? write back
can you send me some info on a bigger dick thank you.
hi i have a 5 and 1/2 dick i just want like 3 inches more b/c girls think i have a small dick how can i make it bigger at home???
Hi can u plse send me more info thanks
yea im 17 with a 6" dick and i need to know how i can make my penis bigger e mail me back and hurry
my name is xxx and i want to know how to get a bigger dick please and tell me at xxx@aol.com
My name is xxx and i am a 16 year old. I was wanting to know if i would be able to get your product with out a credit card or a check?? If i could just send you cash and still be able to get your product. If you could get back to me at xxx@yahoo.com That would be great. Thanks
How can i make my penis bigger??? please email me the free information
Hi. I'm 16 years old and i dont have a credit card. I was wondering if there is any way i can pay cash because i really want a bigger penis. If not i was also wondering if you can write me back and tell me some basic exercises that will increase my size. Anything you can tell me to help me out would be great. Thanks. Write me back at xxx@aol.com
PLEASE SEND ME SOMETHING TO GROWN MY PENIS AND HAVE BETTER SEX .THANK YOU VERY MUCH
IWANT A BIGGER PENIS FOR FREE PLEASE SEND ME SOME IDEA TO GROW MY PENIS
Im 17 and have a 5 and half inch penis. Im not to happy about it. Can you send me some tips to get it bigger and longer, fast? Also can I get it free? In a couple years i can donate to you. Need a reply very soon.
My girl say's my dick ain't bigenough please tell me some free exercises.
hey i am 14 and my dick is about 5 1/2 in is this good 4 my age or should it be bigger? e mail me back
Is there any way I can make my penis bigger with out byeing something, like something home made or exercises, please email me back with an answer as soon as possible. thanks
Please tell me how to make my dick bigger with out paying for anything.
i'm 19 and i have a 5'' dick and each time i have sex, my girl says i need a bigger dick at least 3 inches. i need a way without pills, excersizes or money or pumps. HELP PLEASE!!!!
how do i get a bigger dick..i have 7 but i need 10
mail me how to make it biger.
Hi!
I've seen this very good thing!!!
I'm a very rich man... I don't want to say who I am, but If you get me a bigger pennis (at least 40 cm) I'll pay you 40 million dollar, not kidding, just tell me back ...
Waiting for news..
hi i am 16 year old in my dick is 5 1/2 to 6 i want to make it bigger at least a 7 or 7 1/2 or bigger i dont want to pay for and pills i just want to away to make bigger at home please write back
PLZZZZZ HELP I WANT I BIGGER COCK ITS SO HARD THESE DAY TO FIND SOMETHING FOR FREE! PLZZZ E-MAIL ME SOMETHING I CAN DOT O MAKE MY DICK BIGGER ABOUT ....4 IN
Hey my name is reese and im 16 and my dick is 5 1/2 and i would like to have an 8 inch dick so i please my girlfriend because she want a bigger one to rock her world. so please give me some tips so i can incress my size
hi, i'm 22 and my penis is 5 inches , please i need to get it between 9 and 10 inches without any pills, pumping, lifting weights and payments so i would satisfy my girlfriend more.
Dear Sir
Can you please give me an adviceof hoe to get a bigger dick?
Thank you
i want free info on how to enlarge my penis
Dear sir
Can you help me. I am 19 and have a dick about "6 inch".
Is there any I can get it bigger.
Thanks
Two days later, from the same person:

Dear Sir
I am 19 years and my cock is about "6 inch". I would to know how to make it bigger. Because I am not happy about it . So please sir can help me, any advice any thing is welcomed.
thanks

Free exercizes please
how to get a big dick, please send us sum free info.
i really need help to find a healthy way to increase my penis size
i am 16 and i have a six inch cock and i want to know how to make it bigger with out spending money please email me as soon as possible thank you
hi my name is josh , i have a 3.5 in you know i was wondiring if you could help me i want it personel plese just a free exersize.
I need a biger penis it is about 5 5 and i have a girl friend and she want to do it soon and i need it biger so she can have a butter orgams please hurry
24 minutes later, from the same person:

hey I am 17 i need some help bad I have about a 5 5 and 2in around penis i want to get it biger by not paying for it for free so i can go longer in bed with my girlfriend and so i am not a shy to have it out in the locker room i need some help please tell what u can do for or how to make it biger in the next day or so later

Dear procotologist i'm only 15 years old and my penis is only 4.5 inches long if you can suggest anything please email back. i hope to have a bigger penis.
hi can u send me a lis tof ways to enlarge my dick to 12 in please
i was wondering how i could get a bigger penis.. because i am not happy with the size of it now. and i dont want to spend any money on any items. because they are all to expensive. please help me out.
Sir,
I have a very small penis and I want it to be bigger. I dont have enough money to buy all those gadgets so if you could email me back asap about how to enlarge it, that would be great.
Lance sent a message which had no content, but said "help my cock" in the subject line.
Hi I am 17 yrs old. I need a bigger Dick the one I have now is not working for me so do you think u can help me. Please e-mail me back.
I have an average penis and I want to get bigger. I need tips for free please.
I am 13 years old,almost 14 and i have a 7inch penis.Do u think it will grow anymore?
dear mr procologist,

i need help because my penis is small and im really desperate too make my penis bigger and i would like you to let me in on how to make my penis bigger and please email me back

hi im 14 nearly 15 and my penis is olny 15cm(6inch) and i was woundering if i can do anything around the house not using any drugs or stuuf to make it bigger....please help me i will be verry greatfull thanks......
Someone who has really missed the point:

Hello!

We are interested in link exchange with you.

Your link will be placed at: http://www.penisseminar.com/links.html Please place this code on your page and send me information on your link information.

Penis Enlargement Seminar 39 Year Old Doctor Holds First Penis Enlargement Seminar in The World and Finally EXPOSES His Closely Guarded Method To The Public AND How You Can Master It Too!

Sincerely,
Dr.Arthur Vavere

sir,
im a small penis person. im 21 years old and my size is 5 1/2 i would like to know if you could help me. please help!.
This came in green writing on a white background.

i want to know how to get a 12" cock mine is small i coudnt satisfy a mouse lol plz help

how and when can i get this program
please email me this info
hi im 16 yrs old with a 6 1/2 inch penis. how do i make it bigger?
mail me how to make it biger, strong and long play.

Rgrds

I am 16 and my dick is about 3inc i was wondering hom can i get your program
hey I am 15 and i have about a 5 and a half inch penis.. i just want my dick to be bigger and thicker can u help me?? email me back

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