Susanna Thorpe-Clark added 31 August 2001
Have you ever wondered about the connection between colours, invisibility and your big toe? I sometimes wake up in the night thinking about two out of the three, but I have found that many people prefer to avoid the issue and not talk about it. For example, I have tried to discuss the matter with people who sit next to me on long plane flights but usually they are so embarrassed by their lack of knowledge that they ask the cabin crew to move them to another seat. My family simply will not recognise the problem and whenever I mention it they pretend to be deaf and turn up the volume on the television. Faced with such negativity, I was really pleased to find Susanna's site where some of it is explained. I am still trying to work out the big toe part, but the link between colours and invisibility must have something to do with yellow writing on a white background. If you still don't get the connection, I will repeat the bit about yellow writing on a white background. Is it clear now?

Alliterative Religious Euphemisms added 31 August 2001
The jerk who tossed this page together can't do it all by himself, so give him a hand with your suggestions.

The Mysterious Life and Death of Philip Schneider added 31 August 2001
It is rare that evidence of a conspiracy is made publicly available. After all, the whole idea of a secret conspiracy is that it is a secret, and the secreter the better. In fact, the normal proof of a conspiracy and cover-up is that no evidence can be found because it is being covered up by the conspirators. This is why this site is so valuable, because it brings us the eye-witness account of someone who was on the inside. Philip Schneider was there when the Greys fought the US Military, he saw the atom bomb damage in the World Trade Center, he saw the boxcars being built to enslave the population and he knows where the black helicopters are made. He also had cancer, a disease intimately connected with black operations. All of this would mean nothing though, without corroborating evidence. After all, he could have been a disinformation agent. The proof comes from the fact that he was murdered. Oh yes, the "authorities" said he died of a stroke, but how likely is that? What was the last time you talked to someone who had died of a stroke? Never, I'll bet. I rest my case.

2012 Unlimited added 31 August 2001
I am very worried. According to this site, terrible things are going to happen. In fact, terrible things are already happening. As an example, I thought that living in Australia would protect me from some of the terror tactics of the New World Order as they concentrated on the larger countries, but I read here that the Australian government organised a mass killing of civilians so that they could take all our guns away. Hordes of marksmen shot up a cafe, but the mysterious thing is that all the survivors just remember only one shooter. (I can only assume that these survivors have had their minds controlled.) The real worry is, however, that there are only 16 hours in a day now and very soon the Earth will stop rotating and start going the other way. I do hope that the predictions for 2012 are wrong, though, otherwise I will lose all that money I have in my pension fund.

[Note - This site tells us that the Schumann Resonance "has been 7.8 cycles for thousands of years, but has been rising since 1980. It is at about 12 cycles at present. It stops at 13 cycles", but on the same page it says (in an unacknowledged quote from a NASA site) that "they occur at several frequencies between 6 and 50 cycles per second; specifically 7.8, 14, 20, 26, 33, 39 and 45 Hertz, with a daily variation of about +/- 0.5 Hertz". My uncontrolled mind finds this fascinating.]

Your online source for spell kits - Lovespells and love binds added 25 August 2001
Some spell-casters are wimpy. They offer to help you attract members of the opposite gender or even the same gender or to make people like you or to get healthy or something. At this site they are straightforward and tell you that the spells are for bending wills. It says in the disclaimer: "These "SpellKits" serve one purpose, and one purpose only. And that purpose is to "Bend Will". To remove the will of the person and or situation the kit is applied to. Nothing more, nothing less. Remember I said "Remove the Will", I didn't say "Replace it with yours..." That desicion is left up to the Gods/Goddesses as to what will replaces the removed one. Yours? Theirs? Therein lies the gamble!", and what could be clearer than that? I just noticed the word "desicion". Maybe they need a spell checker.

Homeopathy & Dowsing added 25 August 2001
Everybody is busy these days. There are planes to catch, and bills to pay. The telephone never stops ringing, the fax is always throwing out paper, the emailer keeps going "Ding!" to tell you that another offer of millions of dollars from multi-level marketing has arrived or that someone has pictures of young lady singers not singing. You get home and the kids tell you how the dog is sick and how you have to find the doggy cage and get the dog into it and drive to the vet's office and wait for hours and pay for the next instalment of the lease on the vet's Porsche, please dad, please dad, pleeeeese. It is really convenient, therefore, to find this site where you can have your animal diagnosed and treated without leaving home. Just send in a picture of the critter and Mr Gotchev will dangle his pendulum and send you a prescription. Easy! And Mr Gotchev lives in Bulgaria, so his car only cost $9.

Mr Gotchev has gone. Bulgarian pumice hounds now have to fend for themselves. PB October 2003

Loon of the Month

I just had to reward the entrepreneurship of the person who made the arse-kicking machine, even if he does spell it differently to we southern hemispherians. I really do want one of these things. The only problem is that I can't decide who to give the award to - the person who made the thing and put it in his front yard or the person who saw it when on holidays and just had to make a web site about it. I suppose they could share the award and each have it on the mantelpiece for six months every year.

The World's Only Ass-Kicking Machine added 25 August 2001 I didn't know I needed one of these until I saw it. Awesome! I am surprised, however, that there is only one of them. It looks like a perfect idea for franchising in shopping malls to be used on people who stop and chat at the top of escalators, or at the beach for people who play loud music and bad volleyball. Maybe the police could use portable units (they probably could not be water-powered) to issue on-the-spot arse-kickings to drivers who creep along in the fast lane or change lanes without using indicators. I see many more possibilities ...

Black Helicopter I.D. Kit added 18 August 2001
One of the great problems people can have when the spies and gubmnt agents come around is identifying the type of black aircraft that the agents use. It is no use asking anyone in authority for information, because no information will be forthcoming. A visit from unidentified scary people may be forthcoming, but by then it is too late. It is very pleasing, therefore, to see that someone has put himself at enormous risk of being disappeared by publishing identification pictures. After all, if they take the trouble to paint these things black and cover up the identification numbers, they aren't going to leave the maker's name exposed.

[When I was looking for a black helicopter site, many of the links I followed were broken and the sites at the other end had gone. The reasons for this are obvious, but I hope nobody comes around to disappear me. I am only channelling this stuff.]

The PORTALS of LIGHT: Channeling Earth's Spiritual Hierarchy added 18 August 2001
Have you ever wanted to have your very own copy of an interview with a Yeti? I have, and this is where I finally found it. He even "tells how he teleported his family to a place on Earth where all ones of his race. (Uhtarians) come together with ones of the Ashtar Command to discuss Earth events, the role of the sasquatch now, and their part in the changes to come". Fabulous!

Alien Counsel added 18 August 2001
Sometimes you just have to stand and gape in awe at the knowledge that some people have and the intellectual powers and research that they apply to gaining that knowledge. This is just such a case. At first I thought this would just be another UFO site with pictures of Frisbees on strings, but what did I find? Actual photographs taken from the site owner's spy satellite of Area 51, for one thing. I assume that the site owner must be using his own satellite, because you just can't imagine that the gubmnt is going to let just anyone have pictures from THEIR spy satellites, can you? But there's even more! The secret alien identifies of several celebrities is exposed. Some are no surprise, of course. For example, we all knew that Donny and Marie Osmond were not of this planet (have you ever seen humans with teeth like that?), but the real surprise for me was Rick Springfield. Here was someone who had achieved the pinnacle of artistic and theatrical life - a part in a soap opera and, with Jesse's Girl, one of the greatest recording efforts in the history of popular music. And all that time people thought he was from Australia, not Venus.

It didn't take long for this site to be abducted. Not only was it abducted from the place I had linked to, but the aliens had probed other ISPs as well and taken the copies. (Actually, it wasn't the aliens at all - we all know what really happens to people with photos of Area 51.) PB October 2001 It's back. The black helicopters can't be everywhere at once. PB March 2002

The Measuring Stick added 18 August 2001
One of the great unanswered questions in philosophy and theology is "What makes God's establishment of himself as Jesus Christ so able to afford the necessary make-ups and ingredients that can produce godly results enough for community's, to fully open their communal eyes up to the reality of sin? Especially enough to allow long-term planetary success for heavenly survival in the universe, rather than the mere **short-term** communal success offered by sin?" Finally, there is a web site which gives us the answer. Remember, however, that "The contents of these written works must never become looked upon as any form of "Organized Religious Inspiration", or beheld within any "Systemized Religious endeavor" whatsoever. They are simply Heavenly Truths Given in a "Final Warning" that will hopefully prosper this Planets understanding of GOD Himself, GOD's GODliness, and GOD Himself has JESUS CHRIST. Especially has this 'End of Time" does become finalized upon the Planet". There you go!

Animal Healing With EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques and Meridian Therapies added 10 August 2001
Remember that scene in the first Crocodile Dundee movie where Mick stuns the buffalo by pointing at its head? (That's the late Charlie in the picture.) Everyone thought that the animal had been trained to fall down but I have found that this is not what really happened. It seems that the Australian outback had been chosen for the first trials of a new technique called "Animal EFT" and, by coincidence, the researchers happened to be staying in the same hotel as the film crew and offered to help. What happened on the set that day was that the EFT practitioner stood next to the sound man and tapped and rubbed himself with the buffalo protocol for the treatment of insomnia and, bingo, the beast just went to sleep. The rest is history, as they say, and now this technique is available to all animal lovers. I used it on my macaque and he hasn't had a cigarette for weeks.

It looks like someone tapped on the website meridian, and this site fell into a deep repose PB October 2007

Hermetic Alchemical Order of the QBLH added 10 August 2001
I enjoyed studying alchemy at university (yes, I went to school a long time ago, which is why I need some of Alex Chiu's Immortality Rings), but I never made it into the Hermetic Order because I was always a little outside the mainstream. For example, while my teachers were concentrating on finding a way to transmute lead into gold I went off on a tangent and used a machine (called a "shotgun") to turn lead into duck. There were good times and bad times, of course. There were disasters like the time I left the lid off the phlogiston barrel and the lab's pet rook fell in and was bleached to an unattractive shade of yellow, and great times like the day that Philosopher Stone and I got drunk and painted the dean's horse black and white and swapped him for a handful of magic beans with someone who wanted a cow. Aaah! Memories!

The Rotation of the Elements added 10 August 2001
I just had to add this alchemy site when I found out that they talked about Quintessence. There is no other reason to list it here, because all the other stuff there is highly factual and boringly familiar to anyone who knows how the earth works. That's "the earth" meaning the planet, not "the earth" meaning the element. It's sometimes a bit hard to know what is going on in the lab - you know, someone says "Don't stand too close to the fire" and you don't know whether they are referring to the heating device or the chemical tank in the corner, and when someone goes "out for some fresh air" you don't know whether they are are about to walk around the building or go to the storeroom for a carboy of supplies.

yOni ~ gateway to the feminine added 10 August 2001
The name for Quintessence of the Loon came from something said to me once by one of those great tautologies, a feminist loon (see the Background page for details), and I have retained my interest in the feminine since that time. I have ensured that all of my daughters have received a comprehensive smudging at the appropriate point in their lives even though I, a misgendered symbol of patriarchal power, could not be present for the ceremonies. I was pleased to see, however, that the details of the smudging ceremonies are revealed on this site and they sound much more interesting than secret men's business, although I must admit that there is a mystic quality to the exhaust smoke at the truck races. I like the puppets, too, although I couldn't see where you tie the strings on. I imagine these ladies put on puppet shows for schools and birthday parties, but if they want to reach a wider audience perhaps they would like to entertain the truck racing crowds.